originally written and posted on july 27, 2021
I should be happy watching you tonight. I know that right. your fluffy hair that bounced whenever you got excited, your chubby cheeks that I’m dying to pinch, and your countless nagging and whining whenever your brothers tease you.
I should be happy.
well, I am. isn’t that obvious? this is the seo changbin that I know. the one with many hidden charms and so easy to love.
it’s just, I’m happy that it makes me so sad. this reality makes me sad, for only God knows what the reason is.
maybe it’s because I still don’t understand how come a person loves someone whom they never met this much. and out of millions of people out there, why does it have to be you?
maybe it’s because somehow I still feel like it’s foreign to me. the way I love you, the way I told the world that I love you. I had never been like this before and my friends told me so. and I can’t help but wonder, do you ever think my love is a burden to you? does my love suffocate you?
or maybe it’s because I want to be selfish. I know everything will come to an end someday, but I don’t wanna end things between us.
not now, not tomorrow, never.
but is it possible? I know you won’t go anywhere and will always be there. it’s funny how I’m the one who said I don’t want this to be over yet both of us know exactly that at the end, I’ll be the one who walks out through the exit door.
I love you that it makes me so sad. but tonight you’re happy.
and that’s enough.
or at least that’s what I am hoping for.
